Sunday, December 18, 2011

An early Christmas present :)

These may not look like pretty packages tied with bows but they might as well be in my eyes.... Yup, that's right we are officially moving! :D
This is how my conversation with my hubby went this Wednesday:
Me: Hey honey! how 's your day going ? (he was working that day and I hadn't heard from him in a couple of hours)
B: *in a tired, sad voice* I just got off the phone with my future supervisor and it turns out that its gonna take a lot longer to transfer than what we thought.
(my heart sinks at hearing this)
Me: Oh really honey? well, its okay we'll figure things out. How long will we be waiting? (I'm thinking six months, a year.)
B: They want me to start two days after Christmas.
B: *laughs* So are you gonna be ready to move in seven days?

That's right people! we will be attempting to move in seven days from one state to another. I am so stressed but excited about everything! I can't say how much this is a God thing. Not only will B's last 24 hour shift be next Wednesday (giving him almost a whole week off, ie: we will have Christmas Eve AND Christmas together. Eeeeek! :D), we will be moving out of our current rental RIGHT before we have to pay for another month! AND we will be with my wonderful, beautiful family this Christmas and New Year's! I just can't stop smiling :)
We now have about four and half more days to finish packing and cleaning. Gosh there is so much to do! I haven't even come close to finishing my Christmas shopping so it looks like I'll be getting the day before Christmas; but its all going to be worth it!
We had just bought and set up our Christmas tree when we found out we were moving; it isn't even decorated yet haha well, we hung one ornament. The one we bought in Disney on our honeymoon. We felt bad not having any decorations on it lol.

Our little Charlie Brown Christmas Tree! haha
I'm really happy that we decided to get our first ornament in Disney World while we were there (even though I was for sure it would be broken en transit) its so us and it makes me smile when I see it on our tree :)
I can't believe that next week is Christmas!! this month has gone by sooo fast. Almost a month from now we will be celebrating our first anniversary :D
I'm seventeen weeks today and my appetite just keeps getting bigger! I seriously think I could give a teenage boy going through a growth spurt a run for his money tee hee ;) I am trying my best to reach for the most healthy choices, being mindful of chemicals and such in our food. I don't like to brag but B and I have pretty much perfected homemade pizzas. We choose to make a wheat flour crust and top with lots of veggies.
Last time we were at the grocery store, however, we happened upon turkey pepperoni; I was so excited! (anything that has to do with food nowadays makes me excited haha) so we added that this time. Also, we usually top with a blend of Italian cheeses but this time all we had was cheddar in our fridge so we used that instead. Gave a different flavor but it was still yummy (makes me hungry just talking about it!) it may not be perfect looking but it tastes amazing. We both find it relaxing getting in the kitchen and making things. I have been surprised at how much we actually cook together. I really like that because its about another hour out of the day that we get to spend quality time together. I'm glad that our tastes are similar also.
I am also thankful that we made one of our last visits to B's brother and his wife's place (they live an hour from us) as they are planning on moving out of state as well, and across country. So seeing them again is going to be a yearly thing instead of a monthly/bi-weekly thing. I'm really sad about this :( but we had a sweet time celebrating B's birthday and our niece's 2nd birthday while we were there.

Tomorrow (or I should say today, its like one in the morning lol) is our last day at our church. That is another thing that I am sad about. We have such an amazing church. I spent many weeks praying that God would guide us to a church family that would take us in and encourage us and He definitely answered that prayer! its also gonna be sad to say goodbye to our new friends and our little town but we are super excited for what's ahead. It will be such a blessing to be closer to my family and Bobby is excited about his new job. This year has been crazy hectic but filled with wonderful memories. I am so thankful for God's hand in our lives and all of His provision. And even though we have had some tough things going on this year too I am thankful for how its brought my husband and I closer together. He is my biggest blessing. This may be my last blog post until the new year depending on how long it takes us to get settled in but I will be back! :) I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas and happy New Year! see ya soon! 


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

So many reasons to be thankful :)

November has definitely been a crazy month for us. I feel like I've had to make a lot of adjustments concerning our scheduled events for B's work and family stuff. Things have been kind of hard too. I feel like this is a season of trials and waiting on the Lord. Even though its tough and scary it has really made me realize how much I am blessed. I have to admit that I found more reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving than all the other times in my life when things were going great. Funny how that works huh? 

To elaborate a little bit without having to go into too much detail, here is the short version:
B had a scare at work that I still ask to be lifted up in prayer, hard times in both our families and I've had some bumps in the road of pregnancy. The last has been probably the most stressful (I fell down my stairs a couple of weeks ago and have been plagued with some really bad headaches) since I worry about the baby. I'm ready to have him or her here so that I can see them and know that they are well. 

But things are starting to work themselves out and I'm trusting that God knows what He is doing. I am just so thankful for all of the provisions that we have and for B and my family. I love them all dearly.

Thanksgiving was great! had an amazing week with family; so happy that we were able to be with them for a week :) aaaaaaaand we are beginning to see the emergence  of my baby bump :D

I don't know if its very easy to see in this pic it sort of shrunk when I downloaded it on here. 

Other exciting news. It looks like we are getting transferred closer to my family which will be great when the baby is born; such a blessing!! I haven't said much to anyone about it because it seemed too good to be true but it looks like things are falling into place. We even have a house that we have been working on and have moved a few boxes already :) 

The house needed to be cleaned out and repainted 

So after a few weeks of working on it 

We are now finally starting to see some progress

We ripped up the carpet and now have beautiful hardwood :)

This room is going to be our bedroom, I love the color!

I am so excited about moving in!

It will be nice when things settle down a little bit (I don't know if that happens in real life but its nice to think about lol) until then I feel kinda in limbo with trying to pack but being unsure of when things will be final. But out of all the craziness going on this is one things that I am really enjoying :) 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Rodeo, cookout, and strange, strange cravings

This was a fun weekend. Even though I had a headache that hung around for a few days I had a really good time relaxing and hanging out with my honey. Evidently Kentucky hosts a large livestock show and rodeo every year in November. Since I've never been to a rodeo before we decided to drive out and see it. I wasn't sure what to expect but we ended up having a blast!
They had a lot more people competing than I thought. Some of them had won over a million dollars during their times in competitions! 

This was one of my favorite parts; the barrel racing. I took riding lessons for a couple of years and I would have loved to do something like this.  (I'm not sure if these videos will work or not).

The bullriding was very cool to see too. I would NEVER dream of getting on the back of a 2,000 pound animal and let it throw me around all over the place. But to each his own, and I have to admit that it is pretty entertaining. 

In the corner there is all the little calves that they used for roping. They were adorable and I was able to pet one :) 

I would definitely go again next year :) 
They also had a huge flea market type store set up there with all kinds of western and country apparel and gifts. We were finally able to pick up a pair of boots for B. After months of searching and waiting for them I'm glad he was able to find a good pair at a really good price. He hasn't been able to stop talking about them since then. It's so adorable; like a kid on Christmas day lol. He also surprised me this week with breakfast and flowers. <3 I love him :))) 

A pic of my favorite present this week and his favorite present this week ;) 
We had a pretty busy weekend. Our Sunday school class had a cookout the day after the rodeo and the day before his 24 shift. It was a lot of fun though just hanging out and playing games after a good cookout meal. Hopefully there will be more of those this year!

I've been keeping my hubby pretty entertained lately with my food cravings; Parmesan cheese, pickles, cinnamon rolls, power aid. You know, normal stuff that you would usually eat together *rolls eyes*. So I am just curious; these cravings and strange dislike of certain foods that I usually love will go away after the baby is born, right? Right????   

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

We can only be certain of one thing; God's presence

I'm not sure how to write this post. You other paramedic, ems wives know that our husbands do their job with the risk of their own safety being compromised. Sometimes people try to fight them when they are just trying to help. Anyway, *Sigh* all is well right now but needless to say I was a little shook up when he told me what happened. Thankfully my mom has perfect timing, she called me right after I hung up with B and comforted me (mommies are the best at making you feel better). I can't wait to see him when he gets home in the morning and give him a big hug and kiss. It made me think really, really hard though.

I think that it is very easy for us to become complacent when we are so blessed and we have so much that God has given us. I realized tonight that the only guarantee that we have in life is that God will never leave us. I have struggled often with the question of why God could let us go through trials, and great sorrows that threaten to tear our hearts to pieces. But I know now that God hurts when we hurt, and one day He will make everything right. We will have no more pain or heartache; instead we will enter into the presence of our Great God and Savior. More and more I am learning to trust in His Sovereignty. He holds everything, and He sure isn't letting go of me,  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified... for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. I am so glad that I am God's girl. I think this lesson is going to stay with me. God is so much bigger than me; greater than I can imagine. I am but dust. Yet He still remembers me. He stills reaches for me. He still loves me. Lord, thank You for loving me.

Give me eyes to see more of who You are,May what I behold still my anxious heart,Take what I have known and break it all apart
For You, my God, are greater still
And no sky contains,no doubt restrains all You are,the greatness of our GodI've spent my life to know that I'm far from close to all You are,the greatness of our God
Give me grace to see beyond this moment here,to believe that there is nothing left to fear.That You alone are high above it all,
And You, my God, are greater still
And no sky contains,no doubt restrains all You are,the greatness of our GodI've spent my life to know that I'm far from close to all You are,the greatness of our God
To all You are, the greatness of our God
And there is nothing that could ever separate us,No, there is nothing that could ever separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convincedYou, my God, are greater still.
And no words can say, or song convey all You are,the greatness of our God
I'll spend my life to knowthat I'm far from close to all You are,the greatness of our God

No sky contains,no doubt restrains all You are,the Greatness of Our GodI'll spend my life to know and I'm far from close to all You are, the greatness of our God
to all you are the greatness of our God 

So give me eyes to see more of who You are

-Natalie Grant 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

"Holding your hand is the best thing in the world"

I LOVE Fall! it has to be my favorite season of all. I like to hear the crunch of dead leaves under my shoes as I walk along, and to feel a cool, crisp breeze on my face that hints at the coming winter. But not yet, right now the trees are wearing their very best and I'm just admiring the show. Today was so beautiful. The sky was a crystal blue and blazed against the red, gold, and orange leaves of the trees in our park. Some areas had already lost all their leaves but even the bare branches looked picturesque 

I was also happy to my walk with my favorite person in the world...
I take him for granted so much. He has taken care of me so well during this first leg of the pregnancy. Today I napped and he washed the dishes, made a pot roast dinner and ran to the store to get me a sprite. I seriously don't deserve him. 
Gosh, I haven't written a blog post in so long I feel like I've aged years lol. We attended a Love and Respect marriage conference this weekend and had a blast! it was so amazing to be able to learn about God's plan for marriage alongside our friends at SFBC. I would recommend to everyone to read the book and try to go to a conference; you won't regret it! 
God is showing me that I am so rich in love. Today the only thing I could think to say to him while we were walking was "Holding your hand is the best thing in the world" (cheesy huh?) his smile in return was amazing :)
He snapped this photo while we were walking though,
We were walking with the same steps <3

Also, we spent this past weekend with my family. I don't like the seven hour car drive as much while being pregnant (I think the motion is what does it). Needless to say I was ready to get out of the car by the end. It was so nice seeing my family, I think we went over a month this time without seeing them. My niece and nephew grow so much between the times that I see them! I don't like it :'( 
I definitely appreciate the time that I have with them now that I don't see them as often. I am so blessed to have them. 

I was just thinking about how when I tell people sometimes that my favorite season is Fall they reply, "Why? everything is dying". You know, for us to have the beautiful flowers and tree buds in the Spring, the old has to pass away first. Just like our lives; the old (habits, fears, sins, etc.) have to pass away first before the Spring of God's will can be present in our hearts.... hmmm that's something to think about. Maybe this season when I clean out my house for a new year I need to be preparing my heart too.

"God, open my arms so that I let go of the past and prepare for the future you are building."


Saturday, November 5, 2011

"For You created my inmost being..."

God, how great is the love that You have lavished on my heart. You saw the best in me when I lost hope of seeing the sun again. How can you find me a worthy vessel of Your Glory, Your Majesty? Yet, you choose me as an instrument to bring Your miracle into this world. You have plans, great plans for the life of this one. Even now You see his or her face and You are overwhelmed with inexpressible love. Thank You for making a Way for this little one. They belong to You. Strengthen me so that I point this precious child to Your throne. Set in them a burning passion for You, an unquenchable thirst that keeps them seeking Your face all their days. Mold me into this woman called "mother" an image of your compassion and care. Give me only kind words to speak and welcome arms for the comfort of their pain. Lord, I find that nothing is possible without Your Spirit so let Him lead my heart. Let Him show me what it is I have been created for, and protect my heart from the lies of the evil one. Cover us with Your wings, our hope is found only in You. Thank You for the breath that You give us everyday; let our lives be a sweet fragrance to You, our God and King.
Your Daughter (soon to be mother) 

"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. 
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts O, God!"
Psalm 139: 13-17 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The way things are

This post is going to be short, sweet, and to the point. Haha! Things have been going great around here. My hubby and I had a blast hanging out with family this 4th of July and have really benefited from all of the relaxation. Now I am going to see if I can conquer cleaning the whole apartment. Let me tell you, I am about ready to do a brutal hack job and throw a whole bunch of junk away! But, I guess I had better wait until my other half gets home so I can run by him the things that I want to toss ;) we started a Bible study last week at our pastor's home; it is on 1 John. We are very excited to see what God does through it; there has already been some really good discussion the first day we went. I think B and I were the youngest couple there but it was a lot of fun and we enjoyed ourselves :) I also found out that one of the members at our church is a writer (an occupation I like to think I will partake in, full-time soon) and I was excited to know that they write for a local magazine. Hopefully I can talk to them this Sunday. I really feel like God is wanting me to trust Him more than I have lately. Read this verse in 1 Peter today, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I want to mediate on this today. So far July is off to a great start. How about you? what expectations do you have for the final month (sort of) of summer? 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Tale as old as time :D

Well, I didn't realize its been almost a month since I have posted. Time has a way slipping by without notice, doesn't it? Things have been pretty busy around here but so far I am having a great summer!

So, this blog post is dedicated to my hero and role model; my wonderful hubby :)
(I am giving this forewarning so that you will be aware of the complete, and utter mushiness that will practically ooze from your computer screen if you proceed with your reading ;)

B and I have only been married since January, but I can tell you that I am not the same person today as the girl who walked down that aisle and said "I do". I'm a much, much better person. He has played such a huge role in my life. I don't know how I lived without him. Now to the mushy stuff ;D
 I love how he calls me every nauseating, food-related nickname in the book. I love the way he chuckles when he gives me a hard time, the way he calmly discounts my ridiculous OCD fears with a sweet smile, and how he patiently waits for me to talk about why I'm in a bad mood. I believe God gives us someone that we love so much that we continually realize we can't see an end to our affection, devotion, or our willingness to sacrifice for their well being.
God writes such amazing love stories.
The funny thing is that the more I love B, the more I love God. And the more I love God, the more I love B. Through our relationship God has revealed Himself to me in ways that I could never have experienced single. When I read about how Jesus loved me so much that He gave Himself over to death and punishment for my sake, I understand. When I read about how He wants what is best for me, I believe it; because I see the same things in B by the way he is protective of me, and how he sacrifices his pleasure for my benefit.
He's not perfect, but he is the one for me; and he is everything that I ever prayed for in a husband.
He's also my better, better, better half. Now, if you ask him he will say the opposite but I am here to set the record straight ;)
He is so selfless in the way he works and serves those around him and I have never had such a great example of forgiveness than from my husband. He would forgive you if you came up and punched him in the face. That is the type of person he is. Me? Not only would I punch back but I would probably throw in a good kick and insult to finish things; because that's the type of person I am lol.
Sometimes I freak out when I think about how he just might wake up one morning and realize how he got the short end of the stick.
Anyway, I had to brag on him because these past couple of weeks we have been really purposeful of the time we have spent together. It has been SO nice because I miss having him next to me in bed two nights a week :(
So, we started out our special times together by going to see Beauty and the Beast; the Broadway play. (I have wanted to see this onstage for FOREVER and when my wonderful hubby offered to get tickets I nearly jumped out of my seat lol)
It was a hot, beautiful day and it was so much fun being together :)

The program was kind of pricey but we decided to go ahead and get it since it was a special occasion

The theater was soo pretty. This pic really doesn't do it justice.
:D it was so much fun!

Next, I spent a week with my family whilst he worked double overtime. It was really nice to see everyone and get to relax for a while and catch up on some sleep! On the drive back this time we decided that we would split the trip up and stay overnight at a hotel so it wouldn't be so long of a drive.
I had no clue that he had already gone to the hotel and set this up :D
<3 <3 <3 he is so sweet!

I have since been trying to adjust to this time zone again lol. I swear if I ever get on a good sleeping schedule it will be a miracle. Since I am a definite city girl, he likes to take me on country drives whenever possible to show me around our beautiful town (I've always wanted to live in the country and have a ton of horses, doggies, cats, etc. but alas, my childhood dream has yet to come true...emphasis on yet ;)

We saw this big guy yesterday. B said he was probably about the weight of our car. I have never seen a bull this close before and let me tell you; they are scary! He just stared at us and stomped his hoof lol
This is one of the places where we like to take walks :)
Where we sit and read our bible and watch birds; so pretty!

There were beautiful wildflowers all along where we walked that day :)

*Sigh* with the exception of missing my family a lot, I have such a beautiful life. I still can't believe that I get to wake up to my best friend lying next to me. He's my buddy and I love hanging out with him. I don't know what plans God has for us but I know they are going to be good, He wants to give us only the best (Jer. 29:11)
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! and that is what we are!..." 1 John 3:1

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Unfailing Love

Do you have someone that tells you how much they love you everyday? Or do you know that someone loves you but they don't express it verbally? The subject of love has really been rolling around in mind for the past few months. I think, like a lot of people, I had started to buy into the Hollywood version of love. The mushy, sentimental feelings that people have towards one another. I have realized just how superficial that image is. Yes, love does contain tender affections and such but its so much more than that. I don't quite know how to explain what I am trying to explain or talk about what I am learning. I guess I could break it down this way:

1) There is an ENORMOUS need in each one of us to be loved and cherished. You can deny it and say that you are fine on your own and that you don't need anyone else, except for yourself; but you would be wrong.

2) God is the ONLY ONE who can fulfill this need in our lives.

You don't know how much I have struggled with doubt over God's love for me. I just don't understand how someone could still find a person even remotely attractive after they have been hurt by them over, and over again. Why would God want to give me my 1,989,567, second chance? How can you love someone so unfaithful?
Lie: God could never love me the way I am
Truth: God isn't human, and His definition of love is far different then mine.

Have you ever had someone do something to you that hurt you so much that you couldn't even think about them without feeling resentment or anger? Or, have you ever done something to someone and every time you see them you cringe at what you've done?
It's not easy for us to love someone who we consider is unlovable. God isn't like that.
I have been reading Breaking Free by Beth Moore and here is what she explains about God's love,

"Beloved, please receive this truth--God cannot be unbiased toward you. He cannot set His love for you aside and make an objective decision. He cannot see you through anything less than a loving Father's eyes. You and I will never be rejected when we come to God with genuine hearts of repentence..." (pg 191 Breaking Free handbook).

Satan enjoys telling us that we are nothing and that God doesn't love us. But that is farthest from the truth! God is love! to say that God doesn't love us is to call Him a liar, and to say He isn't who He is.
I know that I am rambling now but this is something that I have struggled with and I really want to say at least a little bit about it. Maybe later on I can find better words, but all I know is that when we don't accept the truth about God's love for us we become miserable. We live our lives in fear of His wrath and suffer from the loss of His love that is waiting to take us safely into His arms! If there is one thing that you remember from this rambling post I want it to be this: God loves you right now. There is nothing, I repeat nothing, that can take away that love He has for you. He is not like the guy who left you or the parent who doesn't give you the time of day. He LOVES you, always and forever. No ifs, ands, or buts. He just loves you. Start believing it today.

"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything... And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." 1 John 3:19-20, 4:16

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I am going to get it right!

With the way gas prices keep rising I am trying to find ways to tighten our belt. We started out with a budget when we got married but I'm finding it's really hard trying to keep up with it sometimes. I went to the store and bought some accordion folders, a budget organizer, and a notebook. I am going to attempt to put this home under my thumb. Goals I am striving for: 1) Get the hang of the whole coupon thing. 2) Organize my kitchen and look into cooking and freezing meals for a month.  and 3) Come up with a chore list to keep me on track when it comes to getting things done in a timely manner ;)
Basically, do the opposite of what I am doing now lol! I checked out a few books at the library that I hope will help me in my journey. Anybody with any advice, I would love to hear from you!

On another note, I had a really nice weekend with my husband and his family. It was quiet and peaceful :)
I really love what B brings out in me. He took me canoeing yesterday; never thought I would ever step foot in one! it was so much fun though. We went about 1 1/2 miles, but couldn't make it the for 3 or four miles of river because it was too hot and we weren't completely prepared. Now that we know the park rules we are going to take a picnic lunch with us next time (in a waterproof container) and hopefully we can take our camera next time so we can take some pretty pics :)  I did get a few pics from this weekend though. Hopefully I can figure out how to put some on here...

Yay! haha this is at the lake we went to with some family. I love this little island, makes me think of the beach :)

it was a lot of fun getting out in the sun after weeks of rain and clouds :)

I am really starting to enjoy our little town that we live in, and I love that we live down the street from a nice little park that I enjoy going to almost everyday.

this is a little spot I found, and the view I had while reading my bible the other day :)
This little guy was outside my front door, I called him Thumper :)

God is really showing me really sweet, beautiful things about our place that really helps me forget some of my homesickness. Its kind of cute how we even have a Friday night ritual of chowing down at the local Mexican restaurant
They serve the BEST enchiladas here.

We have also discovered the antique malls in town. One store had some amazing stuff that I would love to bring home. B and I drooled over this piece, isn't it beautiful? Too bad it was like six hundred dollars lol. Oh, well maybe someday :)

Well, that is a little update of my doings lately. Sorry for the rambling. I think I am going to pull an all nighter and get some things done. If you're up tonight, holla at a girl. I'm sure I'll be up scrubbing or organizing something LOL

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I love Thursdays :)

Had a great day today. On top of his 24 hour shifts B has done some overtime and is currently in fire training. All this happens at the beginning of the week so Thursdays are the first days we get to really spend together. I guess they've become our Fridays :)

We are currently both working on about two hours of sleep apiece but I'm glad that we decided to do some fun things after my doctor's appointment. We made a pizza tonight and ate it with root beer while we watched the premier of So you think you can dance?
I love it when we make food and have a little TV date :)
So the doctor gave me some medicine that I hope will start working soon. I feel better than I did yesterday but I would love to go a full day and night without a sore throat.

This post is going to be a short post but I will write more later when I have the time :)
Hope y'all are enjoying the evening!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hiding Place

I have never felt so tested then in the past few weeks. B has started his 24 hour shift and I miss him. Its harder today though because I am sick and we are supposed to get some bad storms tonight. I don't mind thunder and such but I hate tornadoes. And considering the kind of spring we have been having my fear has only increased :(
B made me a doctor's appointment today. I have been feeling sick for over a week and I just want it to go away. I really wish my hubby was here so I could lay my head on his shoulder. I read a psalm today and I know that it was God speaking to me,

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken...
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62:1-2, 5-6

I'm so glad I have a hiding place when I feel overwhelmed with anxiety; "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone".

Monday, May 23, 2011

New Beginnings :D

So the past two years have been ones of constant change for me. I met and married the love of my life, graduated college, and moved to a different state. My mom says that I am like my grandfather; I hate change. Don't get me wrong, I love being married and I love my life. The whole moving away from everyone I've known my whole life kinda has thrown me for a loop. Some things I have gotten used to; new house and city. Others, not so much. I guess what I'm trying to say is that starting something can be the scariest thing in the world.
But I'm finding that with all the challenges of being way out of my comfort zone is that I have become a more self-reliant person. And I like that. I believe the words of Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" A while back I prayed that God would take me out of my comfort zone. At the time I felt pretty confident that He would appreciate the sentiment but not really act on it. Lesson I learned: be careful what you ask God for because He just might give it to you! haha
I feel like this is a time He is using to draw me close to Him and my husband. My biggest fear in life is to be alone. Well, I have never felt so alone then I have at times the past four months. And you know what? I haven't fallen apart. Sure, I have shed many a tear but altogether I am in one piece ;)
When you are most vulnerable I think God is especially close. I love the book of Psalms. One chapter in particular has stood out to me at this time,

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts
from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
 too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there...
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
Psalm 139:1-8,9

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". Well, I take comfort in the fact that the things that bring me pain or sadness are all under the control of the One who has His hand on me. I'll admit, sometimes I doubt His plan making. But when I focus on His goodness and the blessings He pours out on my life all the time; new beginnings are both beautiful and exciting.
So, if you are struggling with a big life changing event; hang in there! it will get easier, and whatever He is doing will turn out beautifully!