Before you get the wrong idea about me

I wanted to respond to a comment from a dear reader in one of my previous posts. I just want to make sure that ya'll know that I am coming from an honest heart when I write, and I am far, far from perfect. The question was something along the lines of why the wives have to do all of the changing, and take on extra responsibilities for the good of the family. This is a hard question because I have honestly struggled with this myself. Why do I have to be both parents to our child half of the time? Why do I have to be the one to get up every night with a baby when I'm sick myself? Why do I have to deal with being lonely while he's gone? etc.
Friends, it isn't easy! And when I realized what my role as a wife meant I wanted to tell God to take it back. It wasn't fair! 

Now, I know that I cannot speak to everyone's situation, only to my own. And if you are struggling in a marriage where you are definitely pulling your weight along with that of a small elephant, I am so sorry. And I want you to know that is not the way God planned marriage. Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Both giving equally and working together to make a strong unified force. But life isn't perfect, and neither are people. This is where things get a little hairy. 

By nature we are selfish beings. We look out for numero uno. When we have to start looking at another person's needs above our own, a fight starts in our hearts and minds. Self doesn't want to give to others what it can keep for it's own benefit. And when it does give up something for someone and that person isn't grateful, then heaven help us, it isn't fair! 
I am not preaching to anyone but myself here. This is what I have struggled with in our marriage; feeling like I wasn't getting my fair share. You want to know what I honestly think spurs my thought processes that are destructive?
I blame our culture. I blame it for putting the idea in my head that what I do is insignificant because my only job occupation is a wife/mother. I blame our culture for making any woman believe that no matter how hard she works at that full time job while taking care of her family at home that she will always be inferior to a man. Hang in here with me dear friends. I'm trying to make a point.

I have a question: Do you feel like you could ever be good at anything if you do not believe in your value as a person? Maybe that isn't the right question. Let me put it this way: Would you find more joy in whatever occupation you have, whether it be a working mom or a stay at home mom if you believed that you had value not only in your relationship to your husband but as a woman? Ladies, when God put Adam in that Garden he saw that it was not good for him to be alone. Sure, Adam could have landscaped the Garden on his own, probably managed the animals on his own, and well, he didn't really have to cook now did he? So he wouldn't have starved to death. But God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." (my emphasis added). We are important. What we do is important. Yes, times have changed and so many women now have way more responsibilities then ever before. But we were created for a special, specific purpose. I could go off on a whole other topic but I want to reign this in here before it gets away with me. 

When I approach my marriage with the attitude that I am worthless and can contribute nothing then I am walking into a deep pit because fear is going to rule my life. And it has, for a long time. When I approach my marriage with the realization that God created me for this specific purpose and role then that gives me value. Am I making any sense here? I am not less then my husband. I am different, but equal. Let me see if I can tie this all together. 
Knowing that God created me as a woman to fulfill a specific purpose in His plan gives me so much joy! It doesn't matter what I do today, if it's just a load of laundry, and picking up toys all day God wants me here right now. And I believe with all my heart that He is proud of me and that He sees my struggles everyday. Oh, but what joy must fill His heart when I wake up the next day and say, "Lord, You are my portion and strength. Whatever Your plan for today is give me strength to do it well." 
 In the end the only person that I can change is me. My circumstances may be hard but I don't have to dwell in them. When I give them over to God and just focus everyday on what my task is for that day I don't have to worry. God is taking care of the rest. He changes hearts, and He hears our cries. In Him I have my purpose, and the promise that whatever His plans for my life is HE will be the One to accomplish them. Not me.When I know that God is taking care of everything I don't have to worry that self will be taken care of. When I am serving others I am doing it because I love God and He has done way more for me. Now, I can't just give, and give and not have anything fill me up. But I feel like that is for a whole other discussion.  I guess that is my answer to the question. I can't change most circumstances like the fact that I probably do more then the average wife/mom with a husband that works a typical 9 to 5 job. But like I said my husband isn't just a job description and sometimes it's hard for me to separate that from my relationship with him. I made a commitment to him, for better or worse. Some days it feels like worse lol. But the rest of those days are best. 
 
I just want you all to know that I pray if you are weary tonight that God will give you rest, and if you are weak that God will be your strength , and that if are battered from this thing called life, that God will fight for you. 
And to the reader who took the time to comment, thank you for sharing your heart. I hope that you are able to get some much needed rest, and that God will strengthen your heart. Hang in there!


I hope that I made some sense. I feel like I circled the bush but didn't quite get to the point :-/ I was thinking of so much it was hard to write it all down and make sense. Let me know what you think and if you can relate. I hope that everyone has a great night! 


-Lizzy

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

How well do I really relate to my Medic?

It is very important to me that I am being completely honest on this journey in my life and marriage. If you read my last post you know that we have had a rough year and I have been doing a lot of self-evaluation. At the peak of our hardship my husband and I started tweaking things in our marriage. It's not that we weren't happy before but there was so much stress that things began to take a toll. I can't really put my finger on the exact moment when I decided I needed to change my attitude. But I am so glad that I made that choice. Without realizing it I had become too involved in my own inward turmoil that I was literally sucking the joy out of our marriage. I didn't see all the things that my husband was doing to help me and encourage me. It breaks my heart to think about it. He is such a good man, and the best friend I could ask for (love ya babe!). So I remember thinking, "You know, life really sucks right now, but maybe I should try practicing being thankful, and grateful for what I have." So I started doing that, and even when I didn't feel like it on the inside, I tried to smile more and encourage more. It just began building on itself and I noticed some major changes in our relationship. First of all my husband was happier, haha! Instead of my usual pestering of, "Why are you doing that?" or "Can you please not wash clothes that way/put away the dishes like that/forget everything on the shopping list/blow your nose that way?" the last one is a joke. Okay maybe not. I think I did get annoyed with him once for "blowing his nose too loud and waking the baby." Sheesh! would you want to live with that person?! I know I wouldn't! (I promise I'm a good wife! lol) So I began swapping those grating comments for ones of affirmation. Thanking him for loading the dishwasher, taking the trash out, playing with our daughter so I can have some free time, etc. And the biggest thing of all: letting him be a leader in our home.

The other day we were having a heart to heart conversation about some things that had been going on recently and he shared how he was struggling with the assurance that he was making the right moves in areas pertaining to our family and other things. So I was trying to be encouraging and pointed out that he handles things so beautifully at work that he needed to trust in his capabilities to make good decisions in stressful situations. He nodded his head and agreed, saying, "You know, you really have no idea what I do at work. I want you to ride along with me sometime so you can see." I laughed it off with a comment like, "Yeah, that would go over real well." And he just stared at me with those clear blue eyes of his and replied, "I'm serious."

*Gulp* Could I really handle that? I know for a fact that he doesn't tell me a 1/4 of the things he does at work. How would I handle seeing someone's arm chopped off or throwing up blood or worse, watching someone's life slip away? I can tell you right now that I couldn't. Not at all. So now I'm stuck thinking, "How well can I really relate to someone who goes through that?" I don't think you really can. You know how they say, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes." I think that applies here. 

If you were to ask me if I knew then what I know now would I still choose to marry a Paramedic I wouldn't hesitate, I would answer yes. It is hard a lot of times, but what I'm beginning to realize is that there are only certain types of people that can do this job, and they usually have these qualities:
-Dedicated 
-Hardworking
-Love to help others
-Have great leadership skills 
Looking at that list, wouldn't you want to have those qualities in a spouse? I do!
They say that the divorce rate of people with spouses in EMS, the Police Department, and the Military are the highest among the national average. I used to think, yeah duh, it's the crazy hours and life threatening situations, etc. But I don't think that's it now. I think maybe we have been looking at it all wrong. I didn't marry a job description. I married a man who courageously uses his skills to help others, to build up his community, and to make a difference in the world. I think it's time to stop looking at all the pitfalls of long shifts, and wacky schedules, and really get to know what makes these people tick. And let me say that I am preaching to myself right now. Just think about love. Love is not just a warm feeling we have towards another person, it certainly is part of it but that isn't what love is about. Love is about sacrifice, and putting the other person before yourself. When I look at my husband's character that description fits him to a T. What a great example of Christ's love for us. 

When I look at my husband I don't see being a Paramedic as just the way he provides for his family, I see it as an extension of who he is. His personality, his strengths, and his passions. Seeing the whole picture in that way is helping me realize this way of life is truly a calling. Not for the faint of heart, but for those who are seeking adventure, and life lived at it's fullest. 

Maybe now I can begin to relate to my Medic. How about you?

-Liz  

Things are a little squirrelly around here

Well, the day started out quiet enough, then things got a little... furry. I think I mentioned that we had an unwanted visitor in our attic. Turns out we had MULTIPLE unwanted visitors in our attic. About three days ago I called our animal control guy and asked him to come out again. He removed a raccoon for us about seven months ago. This time he did a sweep of the whole roof outside to see where it was coming in since we had patched up a hole that we thought they were coming through. Didn't take him long to find a gaping hole in our roof where the extension of our house meets the garage. It had basically caved in. He brought me outside and told me to climb up the ladder to look at it. Definitely big enough for a coon to get in. Just what I wanted to find out. Not. Anyway they patched up as much as they could before dark and set up some traps outside and inside. Yesterday they came back with no luck but could see and hear a squirrel in our attic. Apparently the coon had chewed it's way through patch in the roof to make it's escape. The only consolation I had was knowing they had obviously found where they were coming in so once we got everything out we shouldn't (fingers and toes crossed) have anymore problems. So back to today. I was going out to our storage room (you have to pass through it to get to our garage) and a squirrel scurried out in front of me, scaring the snot outta me. I screamed and ran into the house, all the while frantically telling my husband on the phone what was happening. He tells me to run back out there and open the garage door to let it out. I'm moaning and groaning because I don't know, small furry creatures scare the snot out of me so I didn't want to go back out there. But like the brave woman that I am I grabbed my dad's old bat that was lying on a box and went to the garage to open the door. After that I went around the front of the house so I could check and see if it would come out. I just happened to look up at our roof while I was passing by and saw this:

He hunkered down as low as he could. I guess trying to hide from me the best he could in the cage. You know finally seeing what had been waking me up every night (scratching and such above my bed) in the cage wasn't as satisfying as what I imagined it would be. I felt kind of sorry for him. It gives me a squeamish feeling thinking of being trapped and no way to get out. I'm glad the guys take them out into the country and let them loose.When the animal control guy got here he took him down and brought him around front while he tried to find the squirrel in the house.

He was a big coon. The guy said the biggest he's seen in a while. I sat on the porch and watched him. He was pawing at the ground, flipping over, and standing on his head trying to get out. He would pause and then grab an acorn from the ground and chomp it down before trying to escape again haha.
Now this brings me to the last story. I took Mr. Animal Control guy through my house and to my garage so he could find our other pesky house guest and I asked him if he wanted me to open the garage door so he could see better. He said sure. The door opens and lo and behold the little guy goes running for his life... straight towards ME. I am not joking when I say that it ran between my legs while I was hopping up and down and screaming like a little girl. Mr. AC told me quickly, to close the door to the house and I vacated the premises. I know now to leave things to the professionals. I'm just glad my husband wasn't home to witness the scene that I made. I'm sure Mr. AC had a hilarious story to tell his family when he got home tonight. *Sigh* I swear I'm not usually like that guys.
Anyway, Mr. AC is like the Crocodile Hunter or something because he caught the little guy with his hands. He also informed me that we had TWO in the garage. So he will be back again tomorrow. Wonder how much $$$ this is going to cost. At least B will be here. Me thinks I'm just going to sit back on the couch and not move until all of my forest friends are gone.  I don't think anyone will accuse me of being a bad hostess.

Keeping it real when your husband doesn't work a 9 to 5 job

So I thought that I would write a little post about some of the things that B and I try to do to keep things fresh in our marriage. There is no particular order, just a collaboration of things that we have found that works for us. You might have ways of handling the stress and busy schedules yourself. If so, please fill us in! :) I hope that you enjoy this little list of things that we do and I hope that it is helpful to you in your own life :)

1. Okay this I do have to put at the top: COMMUNICATION. No relationship will last very long if there is no communication. This is ESPECIALLY true when your spouse works in EMS or Law Enforcement. When B is on shift we are constantly (well, he can't ALL the time lol) texting each other about our day, encouraging each other, and making plans about what we are going to do next on his days off. Even if he doesn't answer right away (or in five hours lol) I at least know that he is going to read my text and get back to me. Also, let me say that if you are unhappy about something, whether it be about your spouse's work or something at home TELL them about it. Don't make them guess. It never works out because they usually have no clue what is going on. Find a good time when they can sit down with you and really focus (read: NOT after coming home from a 24, 36 or 48 hour shift. Brain function is minimal at best and is occupied with one thought: SLEEP) on what you are saying. You can also write things down so they can read it on their time and talk to you about it when they next see you. There have been many times that I have written an email to B or dropped a five page text telling him about what I was thinking/feeling. He loves knowing what is going on in my head and really values what I have to say. Your spouse loves you and wants the same. Opening the door to communication is KEY in making our marriage healthy and happy.
2. Learn to laugh things off. It makes life so much easier. They deal with life and death situations at work all day long. It is a breath of fresh air when they can home to you and your attitude is one of a carefree spirit. It's also good for letting go of petty arguments. Example. My big pet peeve: clothes on the floor. My husband's bad habit: leaving clothes on the floor. Scenario numero uno:
Me: <walks into room> "Wow, what a mess!" *clothes left in a trail from living room to restroom, from restroom to side of bed*
My husband: <from kitchen> "What did you say honey?"
Me: "I said I wonder who left this big mess in the hallway. AGAIN."
My husband: <at my side now, sheepish look on his face> "I don't know but they sure are in big trouble!"
Me: <chuckles> "Yeah, one of these days he's getting a 25 to life sentence."
If it's not life or death, then it isn't serious enough to get angry over.
3. When you can't laugh it off, learn to lean on each other. There will be times when things just suck, to be honest. Those are the times that you are tested to your limit and you think that the world is either going to end or you are going to need some serious therapy lol. Don't push each other away; you can make it through!
4. Make time for rest. I usually try and make sure that when B gets off his first rotation that we have absolutely nothing planned for the day so that we can sleep in and be lazy. Sometimes they have so much crap that goes on at work dealing with patients, coworkers, and hospital staff that they need the time to unwind and not have to answer to the clock. If you are on a strict budget, this might be a day where you want to plan your little extra spending money on food and a movie rental.
5. Encourage each other in your interests and hobbies. B loves to run, and I encourage him to go to the gym and run for an hour even when I don't feel like going and haven't seen him in a while. Not only does it let him relax but it's also great for his health, which in turn makes him more capable of doing a good job at work and taking care of me ;) Also, when you are interested in what they like outside of work it's something that you can talk about other than work on their days off (nobody wants to talk about work on a day off!) I didn't know a lick about soccer until we married. Now I can tell you who is ranked number one in the British Premier Soccer League. Scary, I know ;) and usually you'll find that what they are interested in, you become interested in as well, and vice versa. It's kind of cool how that works out. 
6. Plan for the unexpected. Your spouse will more than likely be called to work an overtime shift when you least expect it or plan on it happening (like usually after they haven't had to in a month and things are really slow, and you two plan this amazing weekend full of fun stuff to do. That's when it usually happens lol) or be held over at the least convenient time. Just be aware. It WILL happen. Let it go and move on. There's no use in crying over spilled milk, so to speak.
7. Pray for your spouse! This should be at the top of the list as well. There is little that we can do to protect our spouses from danger or the heartache of seeing people mutilated and dying at work but we can intercede for them in prayer while they are serving others. I cannot stress this point enough!
8. Take care of yourself. You can't be 100% to your spouse if you are not taking care of yourself. Get a massage. Read a book. Watch a movie. If you have children, don't be as hard on yourself; it's OKAY to not do anything when the kids are napping/busy with their own things. Call up your friend, sister, mom, aunt, grandma, grandpa, etc. and talk about your day. Better yet, make plans to meet up with them. Keeping up with the other relationships in your life helps to make things feel balanced and is a great support system in your time of need. If you guys live away from family make a Skype date so that you can see friends and family face to face. Also, joining in community and church activities opens the door to new friendships and learning experiences, and is worth looking into. Encourage these things in your spouse as well! Also, talk with your spouse about making alone dates for you. Meaning, they watch the little ones and you get an hour nap or go out and eat by yourself. Just remind them that it is VERY important to you to have some alone time and that you will do the same in return for them.
9. Make sure that you are diving into God's word together on a weekly, if not daily basis. Jesus said, "When two or more are gathered together, I am there among them." There is no better glue for keeping a marriage together then a relationship with the Son of God :) . In fact, when you are close to God you are closer to each other. I can vouch for this.
10. Dream together. I know this sounds really cheesy but I'm telling you it's important. B and I have all these plans to travel the world and try new things. Now, half of these things we will probably never be able to do but we don't tell each other that. It's our time to not feel like adults but rather like kids again, and I really enjoy it :) it's also a good way to learn new things if you research the places you want to go and the things you want to do.
Well, those are my thoughts. I know that you have probably heard most of them or maybe all of them but I just thought that I would put it out there :) Like I said I'm sure there are ways that you have figured out how to deal with things, if so please share! I would love to hear from you by comment or drop me an email :)
Have a blessed day!
-Liz

A testing of faith

My first real blog post since taking such a long break has a very serious subject matter. I have been debating whether or not I wanted to write about it but I feel like I need to talk about an ongoing struggle we have been going through.  I actually wrote a little bit about it back in November, the very night that it happened (if you want to read that post go to Nov. 11 and click on "We can only be certain of one thing; God's presence). I didn't go into detail because I was so scared that night and I felt so overwhelmed I didn't think I could handle putting it all down in words.
I'll give a quick summary and then I will give my thoughts on the following days and months until now.
So, B was on one of his regular shifts. I was home running errands, keeping house, etc. I hadn't talked to him in a while, which I'm used to, so I thought that I would call him up and see if he was free or on a run (or napping lol). He answered the phone after a few rings with his usual, happy "Hey honey!". I smiled and asked him what he had been up to and went on to talk about a couple of runs that he had been on and for some reason as he was talking I was getting this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Then he started telling me about his last run. How they had gotten a call for Metro backup to a well known crack house downtown. A woman was passed out in a pile of garbage and the homeowner "had never seen her before". The cops helped them load her up and they took her to the hospital to be treated for a drug overdose. Not a common story of his but one that didn't surprise me. Still, something didn't sit right with me.
Me: "Hey, did something happen while you were transporting her?"
B: <long pause> "Why are you asking me that?"
Me: "I don't know, I was just wondering."
B: <another long pause> "Well, yeah something did. She attacked me when I tried to check her blood sugar; I was stabbed with her needle."
Me: <Silence>
B: "I'm so sorry baby, I didn't want to tell you until they finished all the blood tests."
Then really quietly he said, "All I could think about was you and the baby."
This conversation lasted about two minutes and then he was called in to take more tests. He apologized and promised to call me back as soon as they were done. Now, all this happened at about 11:30, midnight my time. I was alone at the apartment, no family within a hundred miles, and it was too late to call my church family. Insert my pregnancy hormones on top of it all and you understand how I fell into a crying heap.
Why? out of everyone in the whole city why did my husband have to pick up THAT patient at THAT exact moment?
Now back to the present time. B has passed his blood tests the past two times he has gone and will undergo his last test the 2nd of May to be released or undergo treatment if he has Hep. C or HIV. Thankfully, she tested negative at the hospital for HIV. Though the nurses did tell us that she still could have contracted it in the past three to six weeks before the incident happened. But that was the only thing that they tested her for (which I was NOT happy about at all!) Also, the needle was not hollow that he came into contact with so that is the best possible scenario you could ask for in this crisis. Still. He is my husband, my sweetheart. And I still worry. Since November we have had our ups and downs. We don't talk about it much except when he has to go in for his next screening. But when we do, I can barely stand it. My throat closes up and I can't speak. He understands, and we hold each other. I had a lot of questions for God. Why would He let so many things happen at once? In our first year of marriage? Is it really fair for us to be tested so much, didn't He care?
First lesson I learned, we can't question God. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. Nothing comes as a surprise to Him, and to be frank He doesn't answer to me.
Second lesson I learned, God loves us so much. I can't count how many ways He has shown us that He is caring for us, providing for all of our needs, and protecting us (like B and his partner almost getting creamed on the highway the other day going code 3, LONG story). He is Faithful!
Third lesson I learned, life is SO short. I have to say that I stop myself now (not all the time, I'm not perfect) when I get in a disagreement with B or my other family members and friends. It's not worth it! Getting angry is so silly when we could be speaking to our loved ones for the very last time on this earth. We have no guarantee in this life that we will live to be 100 years old. No one can know. When I sit in eternity and look back on my earthly life I want to know that I lived to fulfill my purpose and that I loved with all my heart.
A great, great gift that we received in all of this was our little baby. I think we found out a month and a half before he was stuck. I was super excited but also freaking out because I knew that it was going to be a huge change and I was scared about all that parenthood entailed. Afterwards, my outlook changed completely. Suddenly, raising a child didn't seem so scary (though I know it WILL be hard) and I began feeling even more joy at every kick and movement, anticipating when I would finally meet our sweet angel face to face. God in His mercy knew that we needed someone to make us smile and I can't wait until the baby is born so that our little family will be complete :)
To say that I don't worry would be a lie. I have so many thoughts that keep me up at night sometimes, that it is overwhelming. I am being reminded constantly that it is not about how much faith that I have in God to take care of things but the fact that the God that I have faith in is greater than my circumstances. Make sense? When my faith is at it's smallest God is still Himself. His greatness doesn't depend on my belief; Halleluiah!
One of my favorite Britt Nicole songs is Walk on the Water:
You look around, staring back at you
Another wave of doubt, will it pull you under? You wonder
What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?
What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

So get out, and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait, and don't you turn around and miss out
 On everything you were made for, I know you're not sure
So you play it safe, you try to run away

If you take that first step into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you
Telling you to give up

Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting, what are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to hold to you
You know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water
Walk on the water, too

These words are so true and I find myself singing them often. There are also several verses that I have come across that I cling to:
"When you pass through the waters,  I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,  they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;  the flames will not set you ablaze."
Isaiah 43:2
 
"You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,  too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there;  if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn,   if I settle on the far side of the sea,  even there your hand will guide me,  your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”  even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." Psalm 139: 5-12
 
" Even to your old age and gray hairs
   I am He, I am He who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
   I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
Isaiah 46:4

Now, I am not going to pretend that I am 100% worry free all the time and I have more days than I like to admit that I waste thinking about how awful we have it. Thankfully, God is not afraid to give me a righteous kick in the behind to get me to realize that I am so blessed. I can rest assured that I am His and He is mine. Forever and for all time He will never leave me.
 I am so thankful for this precious life that God has given me; for my friends, family, and especially my husband and baby. I can't even count the ways that I am blessed, they are too many!
However,  I'd appreciate it if you kept us in your thoughts and prayers. Prayers are powerful things and I have no doubt that God hears every one of His children's pleas. Thank you everyone for letting me have this little therapy session, haha! Sometimes it's healing to just talk about things. I hope that I can keep up with more posts then what I have been doing lately but I can't promise for now ;) Hope you have a blessed evening and thanks again for stopping by!
-Liz

Our First Year! :D

Our First Year
I can hardly believe that it has been a year since we have been married. It seems like it went by so fast but at the same time it feels like we have been married so long I almost can't remember what it was like before we were married! This year has been a year of trials (not in our marriage but in many other areas it seems) and triumphs. It has been a lot of fun getting to know each other and meshing together our habits and quirks :) He truly is my best friend and I have so enjoyed having his companionship everyday. And now what's even crazier is that we will have a little baby joining us very soon. I know that when we see our little one for the first time I am going to want time to just stop; I don't want to take a single moment for granted! I just can't believe how incredibly blessed I am. I honestly never dreamed that I would find someone as perfect as B is for me. So many times I have told B that I wished I had met him sooner but I know that everything was in God's timing and I am just so thankful that He put the two of us together :D I thought I'd put some pics from our wedding and some from this year as kind of a sum up of our year together. I hope
you enjoy looking at them!

Waiting to see me :D

It makes me smile every time I look at this pic; I was so nervous going out to see him and when we looked at each other for the first time I almost bawled lol!

:D

Watching our slide show lol

*Sigh* best day of my life!


Well I was gonna add other pics from this year but I don't have the time. With a storm coming in my Internet is not working right so everything is loading super slow. We are hoping to take a little weekend trip, if we can, for our anniversary so I'll probably post them after that. We have our second ultrasound this Friday and we are super excited to see how much the baby has grown! I can't wait to see the little hands and feet :) 
Hope every one's Monday is starting out well, I think this is gonna be a good week :)


-Liz

So many reasons to be thankful :)

November has definitely been a crazy month for us. I feel like I've had to make a lot of adjustments concerning our scheduled events for B's work and family stuff. Things have been kind of hard too. I feel like this is a season of trials and waiting on the Lord. Even though its tough and scary it has really made me realize how much I am blessed. I have to admit that I found more reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving than all the other times in my life when things were going great. Funny how that works huh? 


To elaborate a little bit without having to go into too much detail, here is the short version:
B had a scare at work that I still ask to be lifted up in prayer, hard times in both our families and I've had some bumps in the road of pregnancy. The last has been probably the most stressful (I fell down my stairs a couple of weeks ago and have been plagued with some really bad headaches) since I worry about the baby. I'm ready to have him or her here so that I can see them and know that they are well. 


But things are starting to work themselves out and I'm trusting that God knows what He is doing. I am just so thankful for all of the provisions that we have and for B and my family. I love them all dearly.


Thanksgiving was great! had an amazing week with family; so happy that we were able to be with them for a week :) aaaaaaaand we are beginning to see the emergence  of my baby bump :D

I don't know if its very easy to see in this pic it sort of shrunk when I downloaded it on here. 


Other exciting news. It looks like we are getting transferred closer to my family which will be great when the baby is born; such a blessing!! I haven't said much to anyone about it because it seemed too good to be true but it looks like things are falling into place. We even have a house that we have been working on and have moved a few boxes already :) 

The house needed to be cleaned out and repainted 

So after a few weeks of working on it 

We are now finally starting to see some progress

We ripped up the carpet and now have beautiful hardwood :)

This room is going to be our bedroom, I love the color!

I am so excited about moving in!

It will be nice when things settle down a little bit (I don't know if that happens in real life but its nice to think about lol) until then I feel kinda in limbo with trying to pack but being unsure of when things will be final. But out of all the craziness going on this is one things that I am really enjoying :) 

Rodeo, cookout, and strange, strange cravings

This was a fun weekend. Even though I had a headache that hung around for a few days I had a really good time relaxing and hanging out with my honey. Evidently Kentucky hosts a large livestock show and rodeo every year in November. Since I've never been to a rodeo before we decided to drive out and see it. I wasn't sure what to expect but we ended up having a blast!

They had a lot more people competing than I thought. Some of them had won over a million dollars during their times in competitions! 

This was one of my favorite parts; the barrel racing. I took riding lessons for a couple of years and I would have loved to do something like this.  (I'm not sure if these videos will work or not).

The bullriding was very cool to see too. I would NEVER dream of getting on the back of a 2,000 pound animal and let it throw me around all over the place. But to each his own, and I have to admit that it is pretty entertaining. 

In the corner there is all the little calves that they used for roping. They were adorable and I was able to pet one :) 

I would definitely go again next year :) 
They also had a huge flea market type store set up there with all kinds of western and country apparel and gifts. We were finally able to pick up a pair of boots for B. After months of searching and waiting for them I'm glad he was able to find a good pair at a really good price. He hasn't been able to stop talking about them since then. It's so adorable; like a kid on Christmas day lol. He also surprised me this week with breakfast and flowers. <3 I love him :))) 

A pic of my favorite present this week and his favorite present this week ;) 
We had a pretty busy weekend. Our Sunday school class had a cookout the day after the rodeo and the day before his 24 shift. It was a lot of fun though just hanging out and playing games after a good cookout meal. Hopefully there will be more of those this year!


I've been keeping my hubby pretty entertained lately with my food cravings; Parmesan cheese, pickles, cinnamon rolls, power aid. You know, normal stuff that you would usually eat together *rolls eyes*. So I am just curious; these cravings and strange dislike of certain foods that I usually love will go away after the baby is born, right? Right????   

We can only be certain of one thing; God's presence

I'm not sure how to write this post. You other paramedic, ems wives know that our husbands do their job with the risk of their own safety being compromised. Sometimes people try to fight them when they are just trying to help. Anyway, *Sigh* all is well right now but needless to say I was a little shook up when he told me what happened. Thankfully my mom has perfect timing, she called me right after I hung up with B and comforted me (mommies are the best at making you feel better). I can't wait to see him when he gets home in the morning and give him a big hug and kiss. It made me think really, really hard though.


I think that it is very easy for us to become complacent when we are so blessed and we have so much that God has given us. I realized tonight that the only guarantee that we have in life is that God will never leave us. I have struggled often with the question of why God could let us go through trials, and great sorrows that threaten to tear our hearts to pieces. But I know now that God hurts when we hurt, and one day He will make everything right. We will have no more pain or heartache; instead we will enter into the presence of our Great God and Savior. More and more I am learning to trust in His Sovereignty. He holds everything, and He sure isn't letting go of me,  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified... for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. I am so glad that I am God's girl. I think this lesson is going to stay with me. God is so much bigger than me; greater than I can imagine. I am but dust. Yet He still remembers me. He stills reaches for me. He still loves me. Lord, thank You for loving me.

Give me eyes to see more of who You are,May what I behold still my anxious heart,Take what I have known and break it all apart
For You, my God, are greater still
And no sky contains,no doubt restrains all You are,the greatness of our GodI've spent my life to know that I'm far from close to all You are,the greatness of our God
Give me grace to see beyond this moment here,to believe that there is nothing left to fear.That You alone are high above it all,
And You, my God, are greater still
And no sky contains,no doubt restrains all You are,the greatness of our GodI've spent my life to know that I'm far from close to all You are,the greatness of our God
To all You are, the greatness of our God
And there is nothing that could ever separate us,No, there is nothing that could ever separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convincedYou, my God, are greater still.
And no words can say, or song convey all You are,the greatness of our God
I'll spend my life to knowthat I'm far from close to all You are,the greatness of our God

No sky contains,no doubt restrains all You are,the Greatness of Our GodI'll spend my life to know and I'm far from close to all You are, the greatness of our God

to all you are the greatness of our God 

So give me eyes to see more of who You are

-Natalie Grant 

"Holding your hand is the best thing in the world"

I LOVE Fall! it has to be my favorite season of all. I like to hear the crunch of dead leaves under my shoes as I walk along, and to feel a cool, crisp breeze on my face that hints at the coming winter. But not yet, right now the trees are wearing their very best and I'm just admiring the show. Today was so beautiful. The sky was a crystal blue and blazed against the red, gold, and orange leaves of the trees in our park. Some areas had already lost all their leaves but even the bare branches looked picturesque 

I was also happy to my walk with my favorite person in the world...

:D
I take him for granted so much. He has taken care of me so well during this first leg of the pregnancy. Today I napped and he washed the dishes, made a pot roast dinner and ran to the store to get me a sprite. I seriously don't deserve him. 
Gosh, I haven't written a blog post in so long I feel like I've aged years lol. We attended a Love and Respect marriage conference this weekend and had a blast! it was so amazing to be able to learn about God's plan for marriage alongside our friends at SFBC. I would recommend to everyone to read the book and try to go to a conference; you won't regret it! 
God is showing me that I am so rich in love. Today the only thing I could think to say to him while we were walking was "Holding your hand is the best thing in the world" (cheesy huh?) his smile in return was amazing :)
He snapped this photo while we were walking though,

We were walking with the same steps <3


Also, we spent this past weekend with my family. I don't like the seven hour car drive as much while being pregnant (I think the motion is what does it). Needless to say I was ready to get out of the car by the end. It was so nice seeing my family, I think we went over a month this time without seeing them. My niece and nephew grow so much between the times that I see them! I don't like it :'( 
I definitely appreciate the time that I have with them now that I don't see them as often. I am so blessed to have them. 


I was just thinking about how when I tell people sometimes that my favorite season is Fall they reply, "Why? everything is dying". You know, for us to have the beautiful flowers and tree buds in the Spring, the old has to pass away first. Just like our lives; the old (habits, fears, sins, etc.) have to pass away first before the Spring of God's will can be present in our hearts.... hmmm that's something to think about. Maybe this season when I clean out my house for a new year I need to be preparing my heart too.

"God, open my arms so that I let go of the past and prepare for the future you are building."


-Lizzy