Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Journey to the Center of my Heart

Dear Friends,
It has been a while! Life, I'm afraid has the ability to sweep us away in a frenzy of activity, and burdensome responsibility. To say I have been overwhelmed lately would be an understatement. So much has gone on the past month that it seems hard for me to pick a place to begin. The first major change in our life: my Dear Husband has a brand new position at a major medical center here in our town. We have been waiting for this day for a very long time. To say that it is just a blessing would be like saying red velvet cake is just cake ;) 

This has been a true, life changing gift from God. Because my hubby will now have access to better training to receive more credentials to put under his belt. He has dreamed of being a Flight Medic for a long time and this is his chance to get a foot in the door. He is so excited about all of the opportunities he will have at this new job. AND the other night we were sitting in our living room and he tells me he might want to even go as far as start the process for PA school (Physician Assistant) or Nursing school to be a Nurse Practitioner. I about fell out on the floor. His enthusiasm is so encouraging to me.     

Our little girl has also been growing by leaps and bounds. In three months she will hit the one year mark. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by! She is so precious and gives me such joy every morning when I wake up and see her beautiful little smile. It melts my heart :) 

And then there's me. Plain ol' pile of a mess me ha! ;) 
What I mean is that I have fought a long battle the past two years and I have finally given up and let go and let Someone who knows me best to take control. I've rededicated my heart and I am here to shout with joy that I stand on God's promise that when I am at my weakest I am truly strong, for His Power in me is greater then what I face in this world. Hallelujah!  
Let me tell you friend, it was an ugly road. One that I pray I don't have to walk on again. I had so much hurt stuffed inside from years of past regrets and shame that I felt crushed under a black cloud of despair. The final result was a rampage of anger, strife, and discontent like this world has never seen. I hated the person that I had become. When I finally, reluctantly let God hold a mirror to my face I realized that if things didn't change then my life would be a shambles. That scared me out of my stupor real quick! Since then I have sought His mercy and renewal every morning. I pray I never come under those chains again! 

I know the obstacles in my life are still there but I am not fighting them anymore, my God has already won. I want to rest in the assurance of that victory.  He has revived our marriage, given me an even greater appreciation for my little girl, and He has shown me He can overcome depression and heartache. If we only let Him. I want my life to be a testament to that. And from now on friends I want you to see that change in me, because I can't deny it! ;)