Saturday, December 15, 2012

A dark shadow over our country

Our Nation mourns tonight over the eight little boys, twelve precious little girls, and six heroic women who gave their lives trying to protect the children they were responsible for. My heart goes out to the families of the ones lost and also for the survivors who will forever be scarred by a man's senseless act of violence. My heart also breaks for the First Responders, and Law Enforcement Officials who were on scene. This will be an event they will never forget. If you are reading this now please, take the time to say a prayer for the families and those who are involved. May God bring healing to their lives as they try to recover from this horrific tragedy. 


Thursday, December 13, 2012

What to do when your husband doesn't work 9 to 5: A Revision

I thought I should do a revision of this post that I made almost a year ago since we have added a little one to the mix :) things have changed a LOT. What was easy for B and I to do before is much harder now. Not impossible, just a challenge. I also felt like I should write this post because we have had some hard bumps in the road this past year with personal things and his schedule changing so much. We have had to evolve constantly as things have been thrown our way. I just want to add a little note to this post as well: anything that I say here, if it does not work for you and your family then ignore it! don't feel like you have to take everyone's advice if it does not suit your situation. You know you best. But I hope that I can give some helpful tips that we have learned through trial and error. Here they are: 

1.) No matter what, next to God, your marriage/relationship is #1 priority in the house. If its not then you are going to encounter many, many hurdles.  I've learned this the hard way this past year. After having S I was so focused on the mom thing that I wasn't thinking of much else. I wasn't thinking about my relationship with my husband nearly enough and because of that we both became burned out. Me with everything at home and B with work. Not a fun situation at all. So we decided that we needed to step back and reevaluate our priorities. Spending time together should not be a special occasion. It should be intentional contact, and purposeful conversation. And when need be, companionable silence. A marriage book that I would suggest to any new couple and seasoned veterans would be one called Love and Respect. I'm sure that you could find a copy on Amazon. At any rate whatever you do, make sure you are on the same page and that you are spending quality time together. I know. It had been said many times. But it doesn't make it less true.

2.) One of the things that B and I decided is a top priority is also making time for us to spend ALONE. When we sat down and talked we realized that B felt like he did little else but work and I felt like I did little else but take care of the baby. So we decided that every other shift rotation one of us spends the day doing what we want, all day. Be it go see a movie at the theater, go to the state park, hunting, hiking, the mall, etc. Whatever we want to do, we can go and not worry about being home at a certain time. You can't be a strong team if both of you are worn out and burned out. Make time for yourself. 

3.)  Be organized. Whatever system works for you. I have found that the more organized I am in my time and with things that I do around the house the more time I have to devote to my family. Now, if you walked into my house right now it would not be spotless but my dishes would be clean, laundry would be processing (lol as in a continual state of being), and my hubby and baby would be fed and content. I struggled with wanting everything to be perfect and in order and it blew up in my face. I was exhausted all the time and B would have to literally take me by the shoulders and sit me down, reminding me that I hadn't sat down all day, much less spent time with him or Sophie. So don't over do it. But I say from MY experience that things run smoother if I have these things taken care of:
  • Meals planned and grocery list made 
  • Dishes clean and put away
  • Baby fed on a schedule and put to sleep at scheduled time 
I have been both sloppy and overzealous about how I keep my house but I had to find a balance because his schedule is so random sometimes that I have to be prepared to a certain extent. So try to organize in your own time and at your own pace. (note: I am STILL perfecting this. I haven't "arrived" at where I want to be in this area but I have made serious progress)

4.)  Enjoy every single moment of your life. In the end it doesn't matter how clean your house is, what things you have, what you have accomplished; if you haven't spent your time loving your husband and your family than I am afraid that you are missing the whole point. I'm learning that S doesn't care if I am perfect, if I give her the best toys or if I am raising her by the book. She wants a mother that loves her and spends time with her. That is it. Period. And my husband? He just wants a quiet evening snuggled on the couch, watching our favorite TV show. Everyday doesn't have to be spectacular. Live in the moment (I am preaching to myself here). 

I thought that I would have a big list of revisions this time but really, I have found that the simpler the better. Life is too complicated as it is. My four things may not be the four things that you feel are important. I'm just telling you what I have learned and am in the process of learning.  I hope that I was able to give a little nugget of advice that you can take away and revise and morph into what you need. If not, I hope you enjoyed the read :)

Whatever you do my friends, keep praying, keep seeking, and keep loving. You will find that living with a Paramedic is tough sometimes but it does not have to be impossible. Despite popular belief your family is not defined by a career. It is a big part of it, sure, but not the defining element. Just keep that in mind.

May God bless,

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Blog award :)

Thank you Bella, for tagging me in this. I will do the best I can :)

if you receive this award, there are a few rules. 
-Each blogger nominated must post 11 things about themselves.
-You must answer the 11 questions that the tagger has asked.
-The blogger must create 11 questions for the bloggers they are nominating.
-You must tag 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers for this award.
-Tell the bloggers you are nominating them, duh!
-No tag backs!
Alrighty  to get started I will list 11 facts about me:
1. I have to sleep with an eye mask on because I cannot stand any sort of light if I am trying to doze. I have been that way since I was little. My mom said I would sleep with stuffed animals on my head to keep the light out. Weird, I know.
2. My first and only boyfriend is my now husband :)
3. I'm OCD about people shaking my hand. Just like Monk. I whip out my hand cleaner afterwards every time. No offense to you. I do it with everyone.
4. Was almost shot by a crazed man with a gun while driving in a car with my best friend. True story. He walked out in front of our car, we heard popping noises and saw the bullets spark off the ground. My best friend had the good sense to stomp the gas peddle and we sped off, sobbing. Twas on the news that night. 
5. I like to dip dinner rolls in Ketchup. Grosses my husband out every time. And he sees dead people tee hee ;) 
6. I want to have a book published one day. 
7. I listen to two types of music: Michael Buble, and everything else :D
8. I'm a homebody 
9. Had a Shetland Sheepdog named Bowser. 
10. I love country boys ;D 
11. My all-time favorite desert: Brownies!

Okay, now Bella's questions:
1.  I was born in Tennessee. Hence the accent. 
2. I started blogging because at the time I was living away from my family for the first time and was going insane. My friend suggested I blog and my family liked to have the updates. Now I do it because I love it and want to encourage others as well :) 
3. I would have to say my best asset is my smile. My husband says that is the first thing that he noticed when I walked in the room. I grin a lot :) 
4. I have not seen the last Twilight movie! but I'm hoping I can drag my hubby along so I can see it lol 
5. Books. All the way. I get completely involved in them. Drives my family crazy because you have to repeat things to me if you want to make sure I heard you.
6. I think I wear makeup maybe three times a week? It depends on where I'm going.
7. If there was a movie about me I think the title would say something like "Sleepless nights" or "Wake at your own risk" (can you tell I have an infant?)
8. A Toshiba something or other with a whatcha-ma-call-it core processor. I think it's nice :) 
9. Hot Chocolate all the way. Coffee is usually too strong for me and I'm not supposed to have caffeine.
10. My favorite outfits right now are all my pre-pregnancy clothes that I can fit in now. Yay! 
11. I think that my favorite sport would have to be Futbol (Soccer) I love to watch it and play it. 

Well, this was fun! I hope that you enjoyed learning those random factoids about me lol. Can ya'll believe that is is December already?! Gah! I have so much to do with so little time to get anything done! Hope the rest of you are better prepared for Christmas than I am. 
Anyway, Happy Tuesday!