Monday, July 21, 2014

When all you've got, still isn't enough.

It was about dinner time and once again my kitchen was a complete disaster. As in every inch of counter space was occupied by dirty bowls, used pots, and pans, and a nice line of cups with crusty utensils in them. I just wanted to scream. I didn't have the courage to delve into this terrifying spectacle to clean it. And I sure didn't feel like cooking afterwards!
Do you ever have times in your life where you feel like you've been through the wringer one too many times? Times where you tell yourself "There's a light at the end of this tunnel, I know it" only to realize it's not coming any time soon?
That has been my story for at least the past twelve months. I don't think I realized how often I was just in "survival mode" getting through the day but getting nothing out of it. And I certainly wasn't putting anything into my life that's for sure!

Although I have been pursuing answers for my physical exhaustion through blood tests and such to check my thyroid (results I haven't had reviewed yet) I've realized that my weariness was more then skin deep. The past four years of my life have been ones of continuous turmoil and heartache. Everything seemed as if it was spinning out of control. All the while I was doing what I could to control my little part of the world in my family, and in my home. This was such a huge mistake on my part because there are very few things that I can control or have influence over. I cannot keep someone from breaking my heart, I cannot prevent a car from breaking down, ensure my child won't get sick or dodge tragedy. I can't do any of that. The only thing that I can do is control my response. And my response to life's many downs was this: fear. Overwhelming, panic inducing fear. I'm just one big ball of stress!
But the other day I was listening to a sermon by a Minister called Adrian Rogers. It was like a light switch was turned on, now I understood!
It was a sermon about stress and how we should deal with stress. Boy, did I get an earful!
You see, as the pastor explained, we have mainly three sources of stress
1. Thing that we have to do- ie. work, take care of kids, house, etc.
2. Opportunities we don't want to lose- ie. new house, that raise you've been waiting for, etc.
3. Things we want to do or get done or feel obligated to do- ie. that big remodel, fundraiser for the kids soccer team, etc.
All of these things put stress on our lives. And if they are not handled properly they can become a big pain in the rear. Or like in my case, run your life. I don't know about you but I am sick and tired of living in survival mode! I want to have the abundant life that isn't controlled by stress and fear. That's why I was so glad to hear the easy solution: wait on God. I know, I know. If you are like me you have probably heard that a few hundred times. You may have had a well meaning friend from Bible Study group tell you, "Just let God handle it , dear, it'll work out." But then you're in the midst of great conflict, "waiting", and nothing happens! Where is God?

I know this: God never leaves our side. Especially during difficulty. But 99.99999% of the time He is working in ways we either don't expect or see right now.
You see, we aren't promised a life without sorrows or trials but we are promised strength and provision. This is something that I am continually learning because when things aren't moving the way I would like them to I like to take the reigns. Since obviously I am well equipped to do so ;)
Waiting on the Lord doesn't mean sitting on your behind all day fretting, wondering what is going to happen next. It's seeking Him in every. Single. Moment.

Breathe. Be thankful for what you have already been given. If you can't find something to be thankful about right now, thank Him for what He is doing for your future.

Love you all sweet readers,